Thursday, May 31, 2012


Do U suffer from dizziness?  I do!
I find it very irritating and very disabling at times.  Dizziness is pretty much a blanket term for anything that makes US feel off kilter or centered.  I generally always feel lightheaded.  Some days are better than others and I do find when I am stressed my dizziness level increases immensely.
For most people dizziness is caused by motion, pregnancy, drinking, illness and medicine.
The equilibrium  is all messed up and the brain is receiving signals from our eyes, ears, skin and muscles... They are all sensing different things... For example while driving our eyes might be focused on one thing but our body is bouncing all around... Which makes sense! 
Did U know more than 2/3 of people with Fibromyalgia have regular or daily dizziness.
It is believed that it is because our bodies have a problem with circulating blood.
NMH can cause dizziness, weakness, sweating and lightheaded-ness.   Because of this regulating the blood pressure level is difficult.  Our heart rate usually decreases which prevents the amount of blood WE need to go throughout the body... This leads to dizziness and fainting! 

Types of Dizziness.....

Vertigo:  The sensation that you are spinning or whirling. Sometimes it can also cause you to feel as if you are tilting or floating. Vertigo and nausea often occur together and can last for as long as three days. Vertigo also tends to cause your eyes to swing back and forth slightly. This is referred to as nystagmus. Causes of vertigo may include problems with inner ear dizziness.

Unsteadiness:   Unsteadiness makes you feel as if you are off-balance. It can cause you to stagger or even fall down. Also referred to as disequilibrium, unsteadiness can be the result of poor vision and arthritis. 

Lightheaded-ness:   Lightheaded-ness is a type of dizziness that makes your head feel lighter than the rest of your body.  It can cause nausea and is often accompanied by unsteadiness.
Near Fainting:   Near fainting is a kind of dizziness that makes you feel as if you are going to pass out. It often occurs when you stand up after sitting for a long time. You may experience blurred vision or sudden blackouts in vision. This type of dizziness is usually caused by a lack of blood flow to the brain.

Symptoms Associated with Dizziness
  • headache
  • fainting or near fainting
  • sweating or chills
  • blurred vision
  • hearing problems, including tinnitus

IF dizziness is severe please get this checked out immediately... I have noticed I am always slightly dizzy.  I have learned certain smells will trigger ME to get off balance fast as well as noises and light sensitivity.... STRESS is a huge factor!  

Tuesday, May 29, 2012


YES this is your body!
U did NOT ask for this and U do NOT deserve this.
WE ALL have a great burden to deal with and WE ALL do it
as best as WE can. WE have days WE think WE can't endure another minute
and WE have days WE are amazingly resilient. I know WE do NOT get the understanding
or the help WE so deserve and for that issue alone I am deeply saddened.
I am sad for ME as well as ALL of U!
I will put my favorite quote for ALL of U to see!
I bend, but I do NOT break!
WE ALL are true warriors just different levels on different hours of different days!
BE GOOD to yourself Today! :))))))
♥ Cindy

Sunday, May 27, 2012


ICU sitting there feeling so alone, unwanted, unneeded and misunderstood. I know U are feeling like EVERYTHING has been taken from U because of Fibromyalgia and other ailments. I know U suffer greatly. I know how unfair all of this has been for U.  I know U want to give up sometimes. I know your despair!  I feel your pain. I know all of this because I am sitting right beside U. I am suffering in what seems a dark black hole.  I watch and wait for the MoNster (Fibromyalgia) just like U.  Until the day WE ALL can be pain free.... Please know I understand!!!! Whatever I can share that can help in any way.  Please know I will do that. <3Cindy

Saturday, May 26, 2012


Did U know.....
Garlic is a very powerful antioxidant and has MANY healing properties. 

It has Anti-bacterial, Anti-fungal, Anti-parasitic and Anti-viral properties that can protect you against a wide variety of harmful, disease-causing microbes and organisms.

I will make a partial list of some of the benefits to taking garlic.

Destroys bacteria
Kills fungus infections
Kills parasites 
Kills viruses.
Reduces free radicals
Helps prevent build up in arteries and may even reduce it.
Boosts immune system
Balances blood sugar
Prevents the oxidation of cholesterol
Lowers blood cholesterol levels
Assists in fat metabolism
Reduces high blood pressure
Useful in treating digestive conditions
Exhibits powerful anti-cancer properties
Provides relief from rheumatism

I personally use garlic in nearly everything I make!  I use garlic instead of Anti-biotics,
I use garlic when I have a sore throat, cough or respiratory problem.  Garlic is a great expectorant! 
For ME the main reason I eat garlic besides liking the taste is there are NO dangerous side effects!  It is VERY inexpensive and I can put it in nearly everything I make and the taste is wonderful.

Please consider trying garlic.  It does NOT matter whether U eat it or take pill form as long as U get it into your body.  Garlic ONLY destroys harmful micro-organisms in the body and it leaves ALL the good and friendly bacteria alone.  Because of this the good bacteria is able to thrive in the body.

U might be wondering 'why do I need to worry about good bacteria?'  Answer is - without good bacteria in your body U are susceptible to other digestive ailments, infections and yeast overgrowth.  I personally take a probiotic (DR Ohhira probiotic 12 plus) 

The list for health benefits from garlic goes ON and ON......
Please consider taking garlic.  <3 Cindy

Friday, May 25, 2012


Did U know..... Raw Honey - Is a Anti-Bacterial, Anti-Viral, Anti-Fungal Substance. It helps boost the immune system and chases away free radicals! Honey is HIGH in potassium and easy to digest. I know some have sensitivities and this should be avoided.... For those who do NOT this is another great resource to have on hand.... I LoVe it in my hot tea! especially when I am in the middle of a flare it tends to calm ME down and helps me to relax... I have tried my hot tea without it when doing bad and for ME it makes a difference! It is BEST to get unpasteurized IF possible because pasteurized the Enzymes and Probiotics are killed....

I have personally used Honey for healing purposes and for skin conditioning!


Today was a HARD day for ME, not only did I have a Charlie Horse wake me up. But I had them strike throughout the day!  :( 
My Father is here and I am enjoying the visit!
I did have a moment where he watched ME break down due to having
a severe Charlie Horse :( I am NOT proud of that because I do NOT like to let others see how bad I am doing!
 On a good note our garden is nearly all planted :)
I did NOT get to be a part of it due to my feet but all in all the girls and my Mom and Dad did a great job!  I was fortunate enough to be able to take
the 4 wheeler out to the garden to get to see the progress!

The BEST part of my day was watching from my kitchen window and seeing my Dad using his camera to take pictures of my Mom and the girls!
Everybody was so dirty and HaPpY :)

I had a moment of jealousy, but I got over it because I got to see the moment! I am about to have a hot cup of tea with honey, I know the honey has Potassium in it and I can use all I can get right now!
Hope EVERYBODY has a great night! <3 Cindy

Thursday, May 24, 2012


I was never as STRONG emotionally as I am now!
I was never as WEAK physically as I am now!
I believe my greatest strength is my endurance through hardship!
Strength does NOT come it is earned! ♥ Cindy

Tuesday, May 22, 2012


Hi Everybody,
I have been wondering about something. A few days ago I talked about MCS or Multiple Chemical Sensitivity. I have been wondering how everybody is around candles! Do U notice any symptoms when around candles? For ME the symptoms come on fast. IF I am in a isle with a bunch of candles I will immediately notice my breathing pattern change, I will get a headache that starts between my eyes and I will start to feel dizzy... IF I don't get out of the isle ASAP I will also notice white specks falling in front of ME... I usually get these when I get migraines. I tend to become agitated or angry and my mood swings surface. :(
I have found that candles actually trigger a Fibro flare-up for ME. More times than NOT I end up having a migraine! I was curious how everybody else is with candles. I have been around some candles (meaning one candle one aroma) and I am OK... This does NOT happen very often at all. I do avoid candle isles!
I do NOT chance even a few minutes if possible. I know I get overwhelmed immediately and my health changes fast. I do NOT have any candles in my house for this very reason.
How are ALL of U with candles?


Did U know that Chamomile has anti-irritant, anti-inflammatory, and anti-microbial properties. It is TRUE!
I use Chamomile for Insomnia. On those nights when nothing seems to calm and relax ME one cup of Chamomile tea and soon I am able to sleep peacefully....

Chamomile has many health benefits -

Anxiety and Panic Attacks

Muscle twitches
Wounds, burns, and scrapes
Skin conditions such as psoriasis and eczema
Stomach problems, menstrual cramps, stomach flu, and ulcers

On a personal note about Chamomile I used it in my bath last night and WOW did it make me tired :))))))


Sunday, May 20, 2012


Today is all about pretendng I am feeling OK :(
I am NOT!  My feet have swollen back up and I am MAD!
I am mad at myself because I did way too much too soon.
I hope everybody is having a good day. 
I am going to do research Today on being good to yourself. :))))))

Friday, May 18, 2012


Today is the day that goals need to be set!
My Father is coming for a visit and he is in a wheel chair.  So this means making everything user friendly for him is a MUST.  He loves to go in my garage and I must say my garage would scare a robber away.  So Today my daughters and their friend is out cleaning the garage.  I keep going outside to give ideas but YIKES.  Today I need to make some decisions on what to do with the stuff.  Is it keep, give away, sell or donate?  I am stuck because I have things I have not used in years yet I might ONE DAY....
My mind is foggy and doesn't want to think Today :(
I will do my rebounder soon and hopefully that will clear some fog!
I am just sitting here I am thinking about when does the
ONE DAY come? I hate how everything seems to come down to waiting to see!  I tend to fall back in the trap of thinking about yesterday and I need to realize Today is not Yesterday anymore! Today is a new day!
I need to make changes... wish me luck! <3 Cindy 

Thursday, May 17, 2012


Today I was pondering on what I am grateful for and I realized my feet 
getting hurt again was a blessing.... It slowed ME down!  you might wonder why would I even think, let alone say it was a blessing.
The simple TRUTH is I would not have made a Pinterest!

I have had Insomnia for 3 months now and not being able to sleep led me to 
making a Pinterest. I found when I was pinning things I liked that there were a lot of people pinning Fibromyalgia stuff. I first found myself frustrated and I swore I would never ever-ever pin Fibromyalgia related information, but soon enough I started a Fibromyalgia board and I was busy pinning things.
I will be honest and tell you that I am not one that likes to look any longer than I have to at the word Fibromyalgia because it has taken so much from me.  As I was traveling through Google I found myself on Facebook looking for photos to pin to my boards. As I was looking through many Fibromyalgia pages I realized the information I was finding was making me so frustrated. I found some really good Fibro pages and then I found some Facebook pages that were putting false/misleading information up for others to read and learn from. On the good Fibro pages I was overwhelmed with the amount of information the page owner was posting. I would find the postings to have so much boggled information that I couldn't stay focused. I found myself frustrated because I would see things I wanted to read about, but the layout of the information was beyond confusing. One thing Fibromyalga has taken from me is my ability to concentrate for a length of time. I need to get the point and understand the point within a short period of time. I find most information is boggled with so much information that by the time I get done reading it (if I read it) I haven't a clue, nor do I remember. So, I thought to myself "what if I was to make a Fibro page and post things already broken up for an easier understanding." I thought about what if I found others out there that felt all alone and by me making a page this might help them to not feel so alone. What if they got the chance to talk to others and they found some understanding to what they were living with instead of all the judgement they were facing each day. I took my thoughts to GOD and I asked if this was a good idea or not. I heard the answer loud and clear. 

"If you make it, they will come."
This led me to making a Facebook Community Fibromyalgia page. I actually thought I would talk to myself for a while and then realize the page wasn't going to work and stop doing it. I didn't have a clue so many people would find there way to me.
Today I am very.... GRATEFUL!

GOD'S timing is AMAZING....
Because of my feet being hurt and insomnia, it led ME to Pinterest - which led ME to Facebook - which led ME to making FibroColors on Facebook!

I am GRATEFUL because if I had not re-injured both of my feet again I wouldn't have been playing on the computer and none of you would be reading this...

I am GRATEFUL for all of you that are reading this!  :))))))))))
<3 Cindy

Wednesday, May 16, 2012


I am having problems understanding google+ and if anybody
could tell me if I need it or how to use it I would be grateful!
I come on the blog, look around at dashboard and then go off the blog!
Nothing like making myself more frustrated than I already am.
On a good note I do keep coming back and trying to figure it out :)

Hope E V E R Y B O D Y is having a great night!
<3 Cindy


Today is a good day for ME.  I can finally stand on my own two feet :)
The only problem I am enduring is I get very fatigued easily...
I need to strengthen my feet.

The Weather here in Michigan is FANTASTIC today!

I am doing some research on Spirulina and the health benefits... I use to take this and I know it gave me lots of energy... My only problem is I forgot a lot of the information I use to know about it.
I HATE how Fibromyalgia affects the memory :(
So I am compiling a bunch of information for myself and making a book. 
This way I will be able to always go back and look again and again! 

I hope EVERYBODY has a great day :)

Tuesday, May 15, 2012


Water is the most essential substance in our diet.  The human body is made up of 60% water.  Every part of our body NEEDS water.  Now if WE get on the subject of Fibromyalgia WE need to drink our water to help flush out the toxins WE have absorbed.  It doesn’t matter if WE drink pop, take medication or use laxatives and diuretics - they ALL dehydrate us.
Anytime WE add a chemical additive, preservative, or toxin WE cause dehydration.  Because when WE are exposed to or try to consume something that the Liver perceives is toxic, the Liver will then work to try to rid the body of the toxin.  The Liver will send messages to the Kidneys to increase urination.  If U continue to ingest more toxic substances the Liver and the Kidneys will constantly be in a detoxification cycle.

WE need to keep our organs hydrated….
Please add water to your daily routine! 

Remember Veggies can attribute a GREAT percentage of water to your diet!
So drink your WATER and eat your VEGGIES :)

Monday, May 14, 2012


“Watch your thoughts, they become words.
 Watch your words, they lead to actions.
 Watch your actions, they create habits.
 Watch your habits, they build your character.
 Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”
 ~ Upanishads
I actually love this quote! 
I live my LIFE this way.

Muscle spasm

Did U know that it takes more energy for a muscle to relax than to contract?
I did some research today and I now have a better understanding to what is happening.

For our muscles to contract small pouches in a cell have to release calcium.  For the muscles to relax the cell needs to pump calcium back into the pouch.  Problem is when energy is depleted this can't be done and therefore the muscle stays contracted.

The reason we do not have enough energy is because of lack of nutrition or excess demand for nutrition.  Because of this the muscles are affected and cause havoc throughout our body. 

Other issues that affect our muscles
Potassium and Magnesium deficiency
Calcium deficiency
Poor blood circulation
Overexertion while exercising
Muscle fatigue
Pinched nerves or malfunctioning nerves
Insufficient stretching of the muscles

Due to all of these issues it is no wonder WE all have so much pain throughout our body.
The inability for the muscle to relax due to the stress it is under leads to Insomnia.

So basically what I am going to do is  rub and stretch my muscles.  I am going to push water like crazy.  I am going to take the vitamins we are depleted in and work on eating nutritious foods that are easily absorbed....

If U do have a muscle spasm or a "Charlie horse" stretch the muscle or take a bath with Epsom salt.

The biggest thing I am going to do is try to learn to relax.
This is my biggest failure!  My body is always tense and this only adds to the pain I endure from Fibromyalgia.... I believe learning to relax is the key to solving a lot of my problems.  I am not saying it will take Fibromyalgia away but I do believe it will help with the pain I endure!

Saturday, May 12, 2012


Did U know that Turmeric helps alleviate Fibromyalgia pain?
It is TRUE!  

It has been long used by the Indians as a Ayurvedic medicine as well as in Traditional medicines.
It has come to be valued by other countries as a powerful Anti-inflammatory drug.  It is a powerful Anti-oxidant and Anti-carcinogenic.  It prevents the build up of protein plaques in the brain leading to Alhzeimer's disease and reduces the clumping of platelets leading to Atherosclerosis and detoxifies the Liver.  The great thing for people with Fibromyalgia is that it is a natural pain reliever.  It is known to help with headaches and Fibromyalgia pain. Turmeric is a root spice and a member of the Ginger family.  It can be found in nearly every health food store.  It is recommended to have 2 teaspoons a day either in hot milk or in capsule form...

I personally USE Turmeric in my soup, pot roast, pork roast or pork loin dinner.  
I Love it!


Friday, May 11, 2012


A little bit of info:
STRETCHING is a good thing for Fibromyalgia but U need to start slowly or U will cause a flare... Stretching helps break down fibrous tissues that release lactic acid that builds up in the muscles. IF WE are to aggressive too much lactic acid can be released in the body at one time. IF this happens WE will have a buildup of lactic acid in the muscles and a lot of soreness. Stretching helps prevent muscles from tightening up. A must after any exercise or stretching activity is water.
Water keeps the muscles hydrated and helps flush out toxins that buildup in the muscles. Drinking water will help reduce post-workout soreness.

Thursday, May 10, 2012


I WANTED to share this....
I am sitting here being good eating my WATERMELON and I decided to do some research on it being I can do nothing else at this time period. Well I found this amongst my playing on the computer:

W – Whatever you believe creates your reality. Believe that life is a positive experience and it will be.

A – Attitude is the magic word. Your greatest asset is your att
itude. Be positive regardless.

T – Together everyone achieves more. There are no limits to what we can accomplish together. I am more than I am but less than we are.

E -Enthusiasm is the wellspring of life. There is no limit to what can be accomplished with enough enthusiasm.

R – Respect yourself, as well as others. When you begin to respect yourself, your whole world changes.

M – Make commitments, not excuses. There is overwhelming power in the words “Yes I will!”

E – Everyday can be a fun day. Fun is the lubricant that keeps life moving forward. Laugh a lot.

L – Love is the answer. Whatever the question, Love is the answer. It is the greatest force in the Universe.

O – One day at a time. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. All of life happens in increments of one.

N- Never give up or become a victim. You are guaranteed to lose if you give up. Winston Churchill was right, “Never, never, never give up.” It works if you work it.

Watermelon is FUN, inspirational and a great reminder for us to always live life from our highest self. Do not allow yourself to be overwhelmed by events. Let watermelon remind you that you are larger than events. You have the power to create and change events by what you believe. – Wally Amos


Today I wait.
Today is a waiting game for ME!
I sit here with both feet swollen to the point of walking ability is only on a NEED basis. I am frustrated because my Father is here for a visit and I have not seen him in 2 years.
He recently lost his Beloved and due to health issues on my part I have not been able to visit him. I am frustrated because I can barely move.
I am mad that it has to be both of my feet.
Today I am going to push fluids, eat salt free meals, and put Ice on myself all day long.
Today I am going to find a way to calm myself down.  I do not know how I am going to do this 
as of yet... I  tend to fight with myself on taking care of ME. I tend to be great for everybody else, but when it comes to me I just can't seem to care enough.
My mind is a troublesome problem when it comes to ME. 
I tend to have a "lets tear myself apart and build myself up" attitude.
I find it kind of funny that a Type A personality is what I have to have along with Fibromyalgia. I think I am going to find one object to look at to try to bring some focus to myself.

Today is going to be a L O N G day....

Wednesday, May 9, 2012


Did U know that most of us have Paresthesia....

Paresthesia---- is a sensation of tingling, burning, pricking, or numbness of a person's skin with no apparent long-term physical effect. It is more generally known as the feeling of "pins and needles" or of a limb "falling asleep."

Paresthesia is very common in Fibromyalgia!
I have heard many people over the years talk about how this affects them.
I do not know of many Doctors that share this information with us.  Most Doctors throw everything into a garbage basket term.... Fibromyalgia!  Over the years nearly every issue I have had has been given to me as "Cindy this is another part of Fibromyalgia." 

My issues with Paresthesia come and go....
My problem is the burning that goes down both legs.  It feels like a severe sunburn!
This problem can actually affect everybody anywhere on their body. 

Paresthesia is usually moderate discomfort which can be helped by using......

Sublingual Vitamin B12
Caspian cream
Aloe Vera 

Warm or Cold baths
Heating pad 

Bed Buddy Bed Buddy: Hot/Cold Pack My favorite thing!

Paresthesia that is severe should be dealt with by a Neurologist! 
At this point medicines are usually used to help control the symptoms.

These nerve sensations can drive us crazy at times.  I am VERY sensitive to touch... I honestly hate it when I am touched unexpectedly! I have had to have many EMG nerve tests done on me over the years.  I HATE THEM!
I nearly go hysterical due to the severity of the pain I endure during the test and after.
I am bruised everywhere the testing is done and I always need physical therapy after being tested.

I will tell you of a time in my life that was very dark... My husband had died and I needed to have another EMG done.  I was a nervous mess because I absolutely hate this test and I went to the appointment already on edge.  The Doctor I got was young possibly in his mid 30's and apparently well educated.  I found that when we were going through a brief list of problems I was having the Doctor started to become agitated.  I didn't understand because I have a very EASY time with nearly anybody I encounter.  I was just about to get on the table for the test and he said "So U were put on Total disability at age 20?" I said yes!  He then said " So does your ASS hurt?" I said no! He then repeated the question again with my answer being the same.  Next question came at me "So if somebody was to touch your ass it wouldn't hurt?" again I said no!  Then out of nowhere he used his two index fingers and pushed into my ass.  I screamed, I literally went spastic everywhere.  I couldn't calm down and I couldn't breathe.  I can only explain that feeling as what it must be like to be zapped with lightening.  He immediately was overcome with sadness and grief.  I know he was because he nearly started to cry.  He was as shaken up as I was.  He later after figuring out a way to calm me.  He explained he has patients sometimes quadriplegics that can't get disability and when he seen how young I was and how good I looked he found himself upset with me.  He told me he couldn't believe I was disabled!  I was not able to have the EMG test done due to how that one incident happened but the Doctor actually learned something from me that would end up being very important for other Fibromyalgia patients... He told me never again would he ever do something like he did!  He told me he couldn't base anything anymore due on looks.  I never went back to him because he lost my trust.  It wasn't that I thought he would hurt me it was just once trust is gone from me there is nothing more! 

I kind of got off track but I wanted to show my sensitivity threshold.  Paresthesia doesn't make a lot of sense because it is usually associated with nerve damage and this isn't a part of Fibromyalgia.
It is believed Central Sensitization is the cause of Paresthesia.
Central Sensitization--- This is an over-active central nervous system.

Fibro Poem

Fab fibro poem…

By Hannah Hill

As a Fibromyalgia sufferer I do not want your sympathy; I just want you to understand who I am because I may forget.

Yesterday I may have been limping, today I may be skipping, and tomorrow I may be having a sofa day.

Yesterday I may have been on top of the world, today I may want to stay indoors; tomorrow I may not be able to get out of bed.

Although my pain is all over, yesterday my leg may have been hurting more than my arm, today it’s my head; tomorrow it may be my back.

Yesterday I was able to make a three course meal; today it’s a frozen meal, tomorrow its Jam and bread.

Yesterday I climbed a mountain, today I may manage a mile, and tomorrow I may manage a smile.

Yesterday I may have been engaging in great conversation, today I may forget my words, tomorrow I may have forgotten we spoke.

It’s not easy living with Fibromyalgia, even harder when others do not understand you!!

Tuesday, May 8, 2012


Fibromyalgia and Stress
It is believed that the onset of Fibromyalgia is triggered by an extremely stressful situation.  This stress can be associated with physical trauma such as a car accident or psychological stress such as physical or emotional abuse… Researchers believe people with Fibromyalgia have brains that are different than healthy people. The brains of Fibromyalgia patients show structural and behavioral differences and it is unknown if the brain anomalies cause Fibromyalgia symptoms. 
Anomalies – something that deviates from normal, standard or expected.
It has been suggested these brain anomalies might be the result of childhood stress or prolonged and severe stress. 
Stress plays a huge role in triggering Fibromyalgia symptoms for me.  I find sometimes I do not know my limitations and I exert myself more than I should.  I sometimes to prove a point to somebody else or myself will tackle an issue without thinking about the outcome.  I will end up getting myself all stressed out because I am not really up to the task at hand.  I will then push myself beyond my physical capability.  The outcome of this mess is more stress and physical pain.
It is like I am on a merry-go-round and I can’t get off. 

It goes something like this…..

Pain and then Stress from the Stress of more Pain
and then more Pain from the Stress of more Pain.

I know that was like a long riddle but the cycle goes like that… Never-ending sometimes!

I know everybody has different kinds of stresses that they deal with and that some stresses can’t be removed.  I understand this fully!  This is a hard predicament we all deal with.  I get stressed just thinking about things that need to be done.  I have a very hard time saying NO to myself!
I find certain days I am well aware things are too strenuous to deal with and yet I will find myself tackling them to the point of exhaustion.  My type A personality causes me a lot of grief! I find not only do I get stress from doing things; I also get stress from not doing things.  I will punish myself emotionally sometimes with negative speeches that I am particularly good at giving to myself.  This of course will add stress to the Fibromyalgia pain I am already dealing with.  I will get tension throughout the body and in return more pain is to come my way.  I do have many stresses that are out of my control.  My family, friends, neighbors, bright lights, smells and noises…. Actually the list goes on and on.
I am not sure about anybody else but I do not know how to relax.  I don’t think I ever have known how to relax… My Doctor’s appointments and physical therapy have always been a stressful occurrence to me.  I will hear them say “Cindy try to relax” and I will say OK!  Problem is I do not relax and it takes them a very long time to do whatever needs to be done.

I am personally working on this issue as I write this blog. 
If anybody was to ask me what my biggest failure in life was?  I would say Saran Plastic Wrap….
Seriously!   The only logic I have for myself about this issue is:  I don’t have the right technique, the patience for, or I simply always get the box that doesn’t work right.

If I was to be asked what is the hardest thing for me to do?  I would say how to relax…

My body is always in fight or flight mode.  I do not know for sure if everybody else deals with this.  But I do know this is a very common problem for most people with Fibromyalgia.
I know there are ways to relieve stress and they do work.  My problem is trying to minimize the stress.

Certain things I do that help with stress is….

Warm baths with Epsom salt
Vitamin supplements example sub-lingual vitamin B12
Hot tea example Chamomile
Comedy movie
Deep breathing

I have never personally tried Yoga but I have heard amazing things about it. 

I know for some people massages do remarkable things to help relax the body.  I do not like massages because they hurt me extremely bad. 

I have tried acupuncture but I found I tensed up so bad before the procedure that outcome wasn’t as beneficial as it is for most people.

The biggest advice I could give somebody is to calm the mind.  My mind is in constant go mode.  It never stops thinking and over thinking things.  I am trying to find peace and if anybody has any ideas I am open to them….I am learning about relaxation techniques to apply to my daily regimen.  I believe with time they will help me immensely.

I do love to exercise.  I actually find this releases my stress the best.  My problem right now is I can’t exercise due to my fractured feet.  This is one of my biggest stresses because I can’t do the one thing that helps me the most.  I love aerobic exercise and aquatic pool therapy and walking.
At this time frame I can’t do any of the above. 

I know getting a good night’s sleep is something very beneficial.  But this is something out of my control right now… I will not take medicine to help me sleep!  I will wait until my body allows it to happen… Insomnia for me comes and goes.  I find when I am under a lot of stress and physical pain sleeping doesn’t seem to be possible no matter what technique I try. 
I will share one stressor with all of you that I haven’t been able to put to rest… A loved one moved away 1 ½ years ago without a Good Bye, see U later, an address, a phone number, an email.  They just simply vanished! 
I checked every way possible to locate them with no progress.  I would check obituaries just about anything you could imagine.  This loved one showed up a week ago at my door claiming they just needed to get away…. This stress is overbearing right now especially because of the lack of understanding about the way they handled things.
I of course heard I’m sorry; I love U and so on. 

I will tell you that stress does the body in!
Fibromyalgia feeds upon it and dishes it out freely to us. The best thing any of us can do is find things that work and apply them daily to our routines.  If you are like me best thing I can say is try to get out of your own way.  My daughters tend to be very beneficial to me because they know I am my worst enemy.  They will remind me or take over things they know will affect my body.

I have no miracle cure for stress but I will tell you that if you do not address it.

STRESS will affect U…. and U will pay dearly with Fibromyalgia


Monday, May 7, 2012

I asked GOD

I asked GOD why ME?
and HE said....
why NOT U!

1.  I asked God to send me his friends...He sent you.
2.  I asked God to take away my pain.  God said, No.  It is not for me to take  away, but for you to give it up.
3.  I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.  God said, No. His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary.
4.  I asked God to grant me patience.  God said, No.  Patience is a by-product of tribulations; it isn't granted, it is earned.
5.  I asked God to give me happiness.  God said, No.  I give you blessings, happiness is up to you.
6.  I asked God to spare me pain.  God said, No.  Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.
7.  I asked God to make my spirit grow.  God said, No.  You must grow on your own, but I will prune you to make you fruitful.
8.  I asked for all things that I might enjoy life.  God said, No. I will give  you life so that you may enjoy all things.
9.  I asked God to help me LOVE others as much as He loves me. God said... Ahhh, finally you have the idea!

Small steps

If you are anything like me sometimes the slightest accomplishment is HUGE.
I wake up feeling completely unraveled.  I will say I am a mess!
It takes me a little while to adjust my thinking to a positive outlook.  I honestly do not know
or remember the last time I woke up feeling good.  I have a routine and it does work and it is hard!

I believe ALL of us need to make and take SMALL STEPS.
A single step can make all the difference in accomplishing something.
I find for me any accomplishment is a achievement.  If we set small goals for each day it will make each day a little more than it was.  I went days without doing anything and I was miserable.  I would feel guilty and my self worth would feel non existent... I have found over the years any accomplishment is gratifying no matter how big or small the achievement is.. I even found if I didn't finish whatever task I tried to do that it was OK because I tried. 
For me trying is one of my biggest demands in Life!  I live by my own beliefs that trying is a must. 
I am not saying try when your body says die!

I am saying I believe if we do not try we will never know what we can do.
I raised my daughters to do their best at whatever they do.  I did not expect perfect I just expected that they try and do their best because after all that is all that anybody should expect.  I watched their faces as they accomplished things and I seen their faces when they didn't.  It wasn't about succeeding it was always about giving your best that mattered to me... I live by my own standards.  I do (do) my best and sometimes my best kicks my butt.  My inner child has many ideas and I will give you an example of dealing with her today.

Both of my daughters work at a Movie theater and seeing movies is great!
I get in free and I love movies....
I actually seen 5 year engagement and it was GOOD!
I know Kassi hasn't seen it and we could go see it today....
Now I will give the reasons why this shouldn't even be a thought.
I fractured both feet nearly 5 years ago.  I have been told where the fractures are they will never heal.  I have times my feet are great and then I have days I wished they were gone.  Well not actually, but I do think it on certain days.  I will tell you after such a thought I get scared and ask God to forgive my stupidity because I love my feet.  Today as I sit here and type to you my feet are actually horrendous.  Both feet are black and blue and swelled beyond the ankles.  Because of this the fibro is in a flare and everything is swelling up.  So pain is everywhere today!  I can barely walk let alone stand.  I hate saying I can't do something because with my personality I will make myself do it just to prove I can.  This is a battle I deal with internally accepting certain things need to be accepted as shouldn't do.
Now look at the big picture I want to go see a movie... Where is the logic?
My inner child has many ideas how going to a movie is a great idea.  I hear about the popcorn and the goobers and she tells me about how good the movie is and how I would love to see it again.  dang she even shows me pictures in my head of me sitting in the movie theater happy!
Yes I have a very vivid thought process.

What I had to do was to take a break and go through a thinking process to finally decide the movie was not a good idea.  This is a small step but it will make the world of a difference for me today.  
A small step that I have to implement daily is to STOP, BREATHE and THINK.
I have a type A personality and all it says is GO GO GO....
If I don't pause myself I am in big trouble...

So long story short no movie for Cindy :(

I believe tiny actions can lead to achievements which builds our self esteem and confidence. 
If we do small things it will avoid those days that we have to tackle everything all at once.
I do not know about you but for me I become frenzied and I get stressed out and the tension builds and my body throbs.  I think the thing that USE to make me feel worse on top of everything else was my inner child throwing statements at me about how lazy I am and making me feel guilty.
I hate the condemnation I feel from myself.  I am my hardest critic!
I am not saying tackle any task... Ask yourself how you are feeling and adjust something to do according to that.  If you are in severe pain it isn't reasonable to attempt.
I have days I can't do things.... again I should say I am compulsive and I believe I can do just about anything.  I found the best thing for me to do on those days is to have a pad of paper near me so that as I think of things I write them down.  I hate forgetting things and this helps me immensely! I have paper in nearly every room.  I write things down wherever I am because I will forget.  I hate to admit this but I will.  I find my daughters will say something to me and a minute later I am like 'what are you talking about...' Yes I have those days!

Before starting any tasks ask yourself if this is actually something that needs to be done or making a positive outcome for yourself.  Yes I am saying ask yourself if this will help you or hurt you.  I am not saying ask yourself on dishes.... I know doing dishes can hurt and my suggestion is to do small loads, put a chair next to the sink to lean on at times or just simply sit.  WE all have tasks that need to be done but there is a urgent, non urgent pile and it should be addressed that way... If urgent address it then but if it is not urgent break that pile up into small piles... 

I believe small steps can make our life better and I do apply them to my life.  It only takes a slight shift in direction to begin to change your life for a more positive outcome.  

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step" ~ Lao Tzu

Sunday, May 6, 2012


And then I would feel guilty and take it ALL back again....

Story of my life!

I don't want it and I don't want you to have it either.....
So as bad as it seems there are days when I want somebody else to carry the load. 
Problem is I don't feel they could handle it!
I don't think they could handle what Fibromyalgia does to the Body, Soul and the Spirit!
I believe WE have this illness for a reason beyond what WE understand.  There is a greater 
understanding beyond our reality of knowledge.  WE were chosen for a reason and believe it or not the strength it takes to endure Fibromyaliga is beyond words. 
WE are all on a very long, unfair, sacrificing journey together....

I BELIEVE together WE can make a difference.  After all isn't that what life is about?
Loving your neighbor, brother, sister, friend or stranger... Basically everyBODY!

FIBROMYALGIA is making this happen...
WE can not do this alone!