Fibro Colors is a Fibromyalgia Community Awareness page dedicated to Encouraging, Empowering and Educating through informational posts,
inspirational stories and every day questions when dealing with Fibromyalgia.
I must say as far as how I look. I look very young for 44!
Nobody believes my age....
I find most people who see me base their decision on me having Chronic Pain as it can't be possible... She looks fine! I hate this....
I can honestly say because of this standard I tend to push myself even further. I tend to try not to show exactly how bad I am doing. I get tired of people assuming because I look fine there can't be pain.
I hide my pain very well.
Don't get me wrong the pain is excruciating and it does me in. I just find ways not to have to be around people who judge so stupidly.. If somebody was to tell me they hurt... I simply understand they hurt.
I do not like being asked how I am doing! I actually hate it.
Honestly what do I say to somebody I feel like shit and life sucks, nobody wants to hear that.
Things that make living with Fibromyalgia tolerable for me!!!
I quit blaming myself and criticizing myself to do better.
This is not my fault! I am doing the BEST I can!
I quit overdoing everything and learned to pace things out.
I make big projects small. I make time for breaks! The pain is NOT worth it!
I stopped pushing myself to do unrealistic things.
I know I can do things but I will pay deeply!
I stopped listening to others thoughts on who I am.
Walk in my shoes and then judge me!
I am working on not putting myself last.
This is an ongoing problem for me!
I do not put all my hopes on somebody taking this all away.
It is God's timing!
I am working on stress release issues.
I believe stress makes, creates and aggravates my pain.
I am learning tension release exercises that really work.
This took years to learn!
I do not believe Fibromyalgia cures are learned in a book.
I did the research! It seems everybody who doesn't endure Fibromyalgia seems to have a cure for it....
I BELIEVE..... Positivity, Creativity, and Knowledgeability is the ANSWER
My body feels like it did so much yet NOTHING is done.
I have learned through many "trial and errors" that pushing myself when
I am exhausted or drained will be a hefty price to pay.
The price is sometimes more than I can bare!
I use to tell myself I will just do this and rest but this never worked, because I would find myself trying to do something else.
My inner child does not like the idea of not doing anything. I would hear
all kinds of remarks on how lazy I had become and it would sparks me to try harder. I use to push myself so hard, I would hurry and try to accomplish nearly everything that had to be done before the pain level increased to a point of no return. I found guilt pushed all my buttons because I did not work and felt this was owed of me. I tended to have a complex of everything had to be done in one day. I would put so much pressure upon myself... If I had to stop due to the pain I was bombarded with so much guilt and negative thoughts...
So basically I punished myself for hurting!
The thing I hate most is if I push myself to hard I will have a setback for sometimes days. I will be honest and tell you that I was mad at myself even through the pain I was enduring. I hated that I couldn't do anything.
Oh did I try though!
I would sometimes even with all the pain still try to accomplish something. I finally decided I needed to find another way and I slowly started to make smaller projects of the bigger ones. I would do small amounts of dishes. Not all of them! I would start a load of laundry and sometimes wait a while before putting in dryer. This depended upon how bad my neck was doing from bending to put clothes in washing machine. Let's just say I had to be taught this by myself through many "trail and errors." If you are anything like me that inner voice sure kicks our ass sometimes....
I have found things that help and I will write about them in my next post :)