Monday, May 7, 2012

Small steps

If you are anything like me sometimes the slightest accomplishment is HUGE.
I wake up feeling completely unraveled.  I will say I am a mess!
It takes me a little while to adjust my thinking to a positive outlook.  I honestly do not know
or remember the last time I woke up feeling good.  I have a routine and it does work and it is hard!

I believe ALL of us need to make and take SMALL STEPS.
A single step can make all the difference in accomplishing something.
I find for me any accomplishment is a achievement.  If we set small goals for each day it will make each day a little more than it was.  I went days without doing anything and I was miserable.  I would feel guilty and my self worth would feel non existent... I have found over the years any accomplishment is gratifying no matter how big or small the achievement is.. I even found if I didn't finish whatever task I tried to do that it was OK because I tried. 
For me trying is one of my biggest demands in Life!  I live by my own beliefs that trying is a must. 
I am not saying try when your body says die!

I am saying I believe if we do not try we will never know what we can do.
I raised my daughters to do their best at whatever they do.  I did not expect perfect I just expected that they try and do their best because after all that is all that anybody should expect.  I watched their faces as they accomplished things and I seen their faces when they didn't.  It wasn't about succeeding it was always about giving your best that mattered to me... I live by my own standards.  I do (do) my best and sometimes my best kicks my butt.  My inner child has many ideas and I will give you an example of dealing with her today.

Both of my daughters work at a Movie theater and seeing movies is great!
I get in free and I love movies....
I actually seen 5 year engagement and it was GOOD!
I know Kassi hasn't seen it and we could go see it today....
Now I will give the reasons why this shouldn't even be a thought.
I fractured both feet nearly 5 years ago.  I have been told where the fractures are they will never heal.  I have times my feet are great and then I have days I wished they were gone.  Well not actually, but I do think it on certain days.  I will tell you after such a thought I get scared and ask God to forgive my stupidity because I love my feet.  Today as I sit here and type to you my feet are actually horrendous.  Both feet are black and blue and swelled beyond the ankles.  Because of this the fibro is in a flare and everything is swelling up.  So pain is everywhere today!  I can barely walk let alone stand.  I hate saying I can't do something because with my personality I will make myself do it just to prove I can.  This is a battle I deal with internally accepting certain things need to be accepted as shouldn't do.
Now look at the big picture I want to go see a movie... Where is the logic?
My inner child has many ideas how going to a movie is a great idea.  I hear about the popcorn and the goobers and she tells me about how good the movie is and how I would love to see it again.  dang she even shows me pictures in my head of me sitting in the movie theater happy!
Yes I have a very vivid thought process.

What I had to do was to take a break and go through a thinking process to finally decide the movie was not a good idea.  This is a small step but it will make the world of a difference for me today.  
A small step that I have to implement daily is to STOP, BREATHE and THINK.
I have a type A personality and all it says is GO GO GO....
If I don't pause myself I am in big trouble...

So long story short no movie for Cindy :(

I believe tiny actions can lead to achievements which builds our self esteem and confidence. 
If we do small things it will avoid those days that we have to tackle everything all at once.
I do not know about you but for me I become frenzied and I get stressed out and the tension builds and my body throbs.  I think the thing that USE to make me feel worse on top of everything else was my inner child throwing statements at me about how lazy I am and making me feel guilty.
I hate the condemnation I feel from myself.  I am my hardest critic!
I am not saying tackle any task... Ask yourself how you are feeling and adjust something to do according to that.  If you are in severe pain it isn't reasonable to attempt.
I have days I can't do things.... again I should say I am compulsive and I believe I can do just about anything.  I found the best thing for me to do on those days is to have a pad of paper near me so that as I think of things I write them down.  I hate forgetting things and this helps me immensely! I have paper in nearly every room.  I write things down wherever I am because I will forget.  I hate to admit this but I will.  I find my daughters will say something to me and a minute later I am like 'what are you talking about...' Yes I have those days!

Before starting any tasks ask yourself if this is actually something that needs to be done or making a positive outcome for yourself.  Yes I am saying ask yourself if this will help you or hurt you.  I am not saying ask yourself on dishes.... I know doing dishes can hurt and my suggestion is to do small loads, put a chair next to the sink to lean on at times or just simply sit.  WE all have tasks that need to be done but there is a urgent, non urgent pile and it should be addressed that way... If urgent address it then but if it is not urgent break that pile up into small piles... 

I believe small steps can make our life better and I do apply them to my life.  It only takes a slight shift in direction to begin to change your life for a more positive outcome.  

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step" ~ Lao Tzu

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