ME and FIBRO talk
ME and FIBRO had a talk.
FIBRO:
I am bigger than U, stronger than U, and faster than U.
I can knock U down anytime I want to. I sit back and wait for U to find
something that makes U happy and then I destroy it. I know when U are
building your strength and I like to see U fall apart when I take your
strength from U. I play hide N seek with U all day long. I watch U when U cry and wait for U to rebuild your encouragement only to destroy it after U are back on
your feet again. I watch U watch others. I see your disappointment,
jealousy and yearning to be able to do what they do. I listen to U as U
pray for help, understanding and relief. I wait for U to try yet another
strategy to defeat ME. I am your shadow everywhere U go. I sit and wait
to press your buttons and make your moods explode all over the place. I
love it when U feel like a fool. I love going to the store and watching
U stress yourself out because U can’t remember what U need. I love
making your mind go chaotic when U are beyond exhausted. I am always
with U even when the sun is shining brightly outside. I like how U think
U are doing better and U might even be happy. I step in then out of the
shadows and fill U with despair and longing memories of yesterday. I
listen to your wishes and wait to embark pain so severely on those days
that U can’t participate or enjoy the day.
I have no plans of
leaving U. I am intrigued by your strong willpower and I enjoy the game
we play with each other. My only request of U is that U keep trying to
get rid of ME.
ME:
OH FIBRO, Yes U do knock ME down and U
do destroy a lot of my happiness. I can’t disagree that U take MY
strength away and destroy MY encouragement I try so hard to build. I do
get stressed over the hide N seek game U play with ME. I hate it when U
come out of nowhere and knock ME off my feet. I am jealous, disappointed
and yearnful of things I can’t do anymore. I do long for understanding
and relief. I know U are in my shadows because I feel U everywhere I go.
I too am watching and waiting to see if U will destroy another activity
I am looking forward to. I can’t disagree with U on MY mood swings. I
seem to lose control very easily when severe pain is upon ME. I so hate
how U make MY mind keep going nonstop and I can’t get the rest I so
desperately need. I do get frustrated when I go shopping and forget what
I need and have to do another trip to the store. I hate how MY memory
comes and goes and the stress this embarks on my body. I am very sad
over yesterday and all the things I use to be able to do. I hate that I
have to ask for help now. I hate that the pain U give ME is so
horrendous that I am overwhelmed with darkness, despair and isolation. I
do know that U have NO intentions of leaving ME willingly. I do know U
like to watch ME suffer. I do know U love this game U play with ME. I
know U believe U have taken everything I ever wanted, needed or ever
hoped for away from ME. I want U to know I am NEVER giving up on getting
rid of U. I do NOT care if U knock ME down every day because I am going
to get right back up again and again. I hope U think I am giving up
just so I can prove MY point to U that I am NOT giving up. I do know U
will knock ME down and I do know U will fill ME with so much despair
that some days will seem so dark. I do know this game U like to play
with ME might go on for years or possibly the rest of MY life. Yes, this
does make ME sad! I want U to know that every day U play your game I am
going to PRAY, WISH and HOPE for healing. I want U to know I am going
to keep trying to find a way to make U go away. FIBRO I only want to
leave U with one other thought about this game.
Keep playing your game with ME but U can’t have MY FAITH because that belongs to MY Father.
By the way FIBRO do U know MY Father?
HIS name is GOD!
Copyright © Cindy K Bremer
June 4, 2012
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