Fibromyalgia can really drain a person fast.
My energy plays hide n seek with me all day long!
My body feels like it did so much yet NOTHING is done.
I have learned through many "trial and errors" that pushing myself when
I am exhausted or drained will be a hefty price to pay.
The price is sometimes more than I can bare!
I use to tell myself I will just do this and rest but this never worked, because I would find myself trying to do something else.
My inner child does not like the idea of not doing anything. I would hear
all kinds of remarks on how lazy I had become and it would sparks me to try harder. I use to push myself so hard, I would hurry and try to accomplish nearly everything that had to be done before the pain level increased to a point of no return. I found guilt pushed all my buttons because I did not work and felt this was owed of me. I tended to have a complex of everything had to be done in one day. I would put so much pressure upon myself... If I had to stop due to the pain I was bombarded with so much guilt and negative thoughts...
So basically I punished myself for hurting!
The thing I hate most is if I push myself to hard I will have a setback for sometimes days. I will be honest and tell you that I was mad at myself even through the pain I was enduring. I hated that I couldn't do anything.
Oh did I try though!
I would sometimes even with all the pain still try to accomplish something. I finally decided I needed to find another way and I slowly started to make smaller projects of the bigger ones. I would do small amounts of dishes. Not all of them! I would start a load of laundry and sometimes wait a while before putting in dryer. This depended upon how bad my neck was doing from bending to put clothes in washing machine. Let's just say I had to be taught this by myself through many "trail and errors." If you are anything like me that inner voice sure kicks our ass sometimes....
I have found things that help and I will write about them in my next post :)
No comments:
Post a Comment